I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Rumble strips road head = magical
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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