she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
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I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
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the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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