I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize