You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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