There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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