I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
