Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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