party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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