Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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