roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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