Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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