It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
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The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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