What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
