Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.