i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.