Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.