I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize