I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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