Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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