do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
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How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
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At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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