Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
