is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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