i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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