so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
