all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
