I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
