I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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