wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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