chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
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one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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