how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
