i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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