You don't have asthma, your pregnant
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
