we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
