So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him