At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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