It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
