I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
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She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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