There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
