If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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