Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
