screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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