whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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