i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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