She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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