She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
