Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well I just put wine in my tea
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
