her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
