Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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