everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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