You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
