there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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