Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize