Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just gargled with NyQuil
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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